It was all a supposition. An uncertainty, a possibility.
As if he hadn’t been sent into the storm.
As if he was certain the voice was familiar.
As if the risk was worth the fear.
He got out of the boat.
On the heals of depletion, marked by exhaustion, Jesus [his friend, his teacher] sent him away. He sent him into the dark. He sent him into a storm.
His friend, the One for whom he went and picked up the pieces– the literal pieces of his cousin– and buried. Peter did that for Him. The One for whom he spent daylight hours assessing crowds in a deserted place, and kept going into evening, distributing loaves and fish and fish and loaves. That One. He did that for Him.
But the One sent him away, into waves and wind. In the dark hour of the night.
Do I trust the dark hours of my soul, when thunder rumbles low and deep, and rattles the windowpanes of my heart? Can I hold fast to the One who sends me into the stirring of the wind, the foaming rage of the sea, and still rely on the maybe of His voice?
Surging waves battled and howling winds churned the boat far into the middle of the sea. No shore line in the distance, no steady ground. All uncertainty.
But he heard a voice that maybe he knew.
“Lord if it’s You…”
If it’s You…how do I know?
If it’s You…are you really there?
If it’s You…
An unclear voice with a ring of familiarity resonates through the howls of my own storms.
And then he took the boldest step of his life, based only on an IF…
because Peter knew the IF of Jesus was worth the risk.
To believe is one thing, but faith? Faith takes the the impossible and demands it to carry my weight on the fluidity of life. Faith requires an abandonment to “if”.
Faith looks beyond the terrifying imposition of the wind, anchors the feet and looks beyond the sea, knowing Jesus is watching from His vantage point on the mountain, waiting to meet me on the water
to step out of the boat.
Immediately Jesus made His disciples get into the boat and go before Him to the other side, while He sent the multitudes away. And when He had sent the multitudes away, He went up on the mountain by Himself to pray. Now when evening came, He was alone there. But the boat was now in the middle of the sea, tossed by the waves, for the wind was contrary. Now in the fourth watch of the night Jesus went to them, walking on the sea. And when the disciples saw Him walking on the sea, they were troubled, saying, “It is a ghost!” And they cried out for fear. But immediately Jesus spoke to them, saying, “Be of good cheer! It is I; do not be afraid.” And Peter answered Him and said, “Lord, if it is You, command me to come to You on the water.” So He said, “Come.” And when Peter had come down out of the boat, he walked on the water to go to Jesus. But when he saw that the wind was boisterous, he was afraid; and beginning to sink he cried out, saying, “Lord, save me!” And immediately Jesus stretched out His hand and caught him, and said to him, “O you of little faith, why did you doubt?” And when they got into the boat, the wind ceased. Then those who were in the boat came and worshiped Him, saying, “Truly You are the Son of God.” Matthew 14:22–33
Your “if” is worth the risk.